What summer is or was.

"Schools out for the summer..." It still has not occurred to me that the Spring semester is finally over- despite the extra sleep and the home cooked meals...Yeah, you know what I mean... I'm in the process of deciding which summer internship I want to commit myself too. Ideally, I would love another political internship, especially in regards to the current political mood casted upon our great state of Minnesota. But I think it would be beneficial for me to improve my writing and reporting skills for next year. Oh well, it's on the agenda...

Another perk about being at home is all the free newspapers I receive...err, steal from my father before he has a chance to take them to work with him. He recently brought a particular article to my attention. In five (it could be more by now) states there have been cases of pharmacists denying customers prescriptions for drugs that they do not agree with on a "moral level." (Legally it states that they cannot do this.) And of course, with the word "moral" you can imagine that forms of contraception are what is stirring all the trouble. People say, it interferes with their religion and that they cannot go to bed at night content with themselves knowing they are going against their morals...blah, blah, blah...I am tempted to say "Try being unemployed while your kids starve, then see how well you sleep." I mean in high school I was a competitive distance runner, and lost my cycle and was in danger of futuristically never being able to have children, so medically it was my best bet to be prescribed forms of BC- not to mention so I wouldn't be at risk for osteoporosis and other severe bone diseases. To have some pharmacist deny me access to those medications flabbergasts me...

It gets me going just thinking about related issues concerning abortion and contraceptives. Morally, to some it seems wrong, but ethically the U.S. is better off- it just makes more sense. If we had solid regulations on abortion and contraceptives can you imagine how many unplanned "oopsies" we would have, how much welfare would be shot to hell, and how our unstable economy would have to adjust itself to accommodate people's horniness and natural urges? I do not want to be overly Freudian, but come on people, "People like to fuck!"

The U.S. has pulled out billions and billions of dollars from the UN in programs supporting abstinence, sexual education and contraceptives in third world countries. Proposals are shot down continually because a minimal fraction of the programs support abortion. (China being the main one.) Okay, so a few conservatives can feel sound with their old fashion morals, AIDS can spread globally (Yes, including to the U.S.), population can double, scarce resources that have already peaked years ago can become non-existent, and our environment can take a pleading nose dive. I understand having strong morals and convictions; I really do not believe that our founding fathers intended for a complete elimination of church/religion in politics, but you cannot base everything so heavily on their rules and regulations from years ago. Look at the date when the constitution was written- there is no way that what was intended for then can be completely functionable for our society today. The constitution was written before the Civil Rights movement, before the Melting Pot, etc... I need to stop...

Anyways, summer is here and despite the rain, I am very excited for what's to come. I just mowed the lawn and clipped the bushes today and it felt great. Every summer I always wait for it to feel like summer, for instance an afternoon at the beach or later that afternoon at Walgreens buying aloe for my second degree burns, or hearing the Ice cream Man's truck roll into the neighborhood, etc. I never really feel like it' summer, but I can feel when summer is over which implies that I somewhat felt what summer was to me...

Mohawks are Sexy.

I just have to say that Mohawks are sexy... Not the "1980's shave your whole head except a pointy and sharp green dyed mohawk," or a "it looks like half a mullet died and this is what is left mohawk" but a "modern, sophisticated punk mohawk"... Sorry, I just felt the extreme need to express this preference of mine. I am currently studying for finals, weighing my internship options, and working on a 30 page research analysis paper. Oh, and trying to figure out sumer classes, registration and FAFSA.

I officially declared my major as English and Journalism and Mass Communications. I admit to feeling apathetic towards a major that is heavily stereotyped as a "female" major. It humors me how the Art majors are seen as people who wear black, maybe have dreds, listen to music that comes from dark basements and bongo drums and are um, "different;" or the IT kids who seem to either wear glasses, like star trek, own 3 laptops..that they carry with them at all times, or are foreign...or all of the above; the Carlson kids who seem to walk and talk elitism, wear suits and will one day become suits; the English majors who smoke...a lot; drink gallons upon gallons of black coffee, and enjoy theatre and jazz; and then onto the Journalism majors, who are all chicks besides a couple exceptions who fell into the major because of the chicks...some pompous future journalists, nosey and ambitious who walk fast all the time, and others who are valley girls who think "Well, like what else am I gonna do, I'm not good at anything." Tis, a funny world we live in...Remember these are not deeply rooted feelings nor views that I have, but rather generally accepted stereotypes.

In light of stereotypes, one would assume I would have written a novel by now...or three. People usually see exotic or foreign women as the "chemistry majors who wear glasses and have thick accents and parents who have not broke the realm of unfamiliarity and still suffer from culture shock; or as the car import model wannabe's who draw in their eyebrows, and are incredably materialistic. I am not overly concerned about my own placing or positioning on the surfaces of societies eyeballs, but find it interesting to anaylize...and it should also be noted that I have an extreme tendancy to be over analytical.

From personal experince here on campus I'd say most people assume I am a conservative, reserved snob. They (even close friends, and my roommate) say "It's the clothes and how you present yourself," or "It's because your always alone or doing your own thing," or "It's your confidence and maturity." I recently had a friend say "You used to scare me...you...just always look angry, you should really smile more." I always say, if someone actually sat down with me and let me open my mouth, within two minutes they'd realize how goofy, witty, sarcastic and humble I am. Maybe thirty seconds. I used to say I'm a mix of the bitch from the Apprentice, Spongebob Square Pants and Robert Redford. I am very independent and enjoy doing my own thing, but my favorite thing to do is laugh and smile. I can easily get caught up in the vicious cycle, and I need someone to humble me out and say "Hey you, drop what your doing and give me a big wet kiss!" I mean if I ever heard that I'd probably soil myself! I tend to be attracted to shy guys (which is odd to me for some reason) simultaneously need them to be confident and be able to stand up "TO" and "FOR" me. Overall, and optimistically I think I need someone to inspire me- and whom I can inspire also; you know to really know that I inspire them to be a better "FILL IN THE BLANK."

Good lord, I can't stop thinking about mohawks...If anyone knows anyone who has one please send their pictures to gray0234@umn.edu or agray@mndaily.com; thanks!!

Even Love Doctors Become Ill.

In the last 24 hours I have composed 5 academic papers, 2 newspaper articles, and 2 writing example pieces for my protfolio. One would assume confidently that I would want to run far far away from any computer, laptop, etc...Life works in mysterious ways... I was recently informed that I had recruited another fellow blogger, and his writings have inspired me for the night. So my hat is off to you my friend...

Four days left of classes; my roommate said she was so bored in class she literally wrote out the approximate number of hours, minutes and seconds left of each class until it is all said and done with. I cannot blame her. Speaking of which, tonight she was in the room with me as I was talking to a new "friend" on the phone and I glanced over at her and- she literally drooled! Like a huge blob of drool dribbled down onto her shirt! It was the funniest and most random thing ever. I couldn't stop laughing. Anyways, I have been known to help people and give some love advice from time to time, and I feel that I do a farily good job at assessing the situation at hand and providing helpful information. However, and this is a quite large however, when it pertains to myself or my own inner dilemmas I suck royal ass... I've had a little confusion spark lately and have been trying to piece things together, but it has proven difficult. It all sort of surged right when the end of the year is approaching and the mere fact that I cannot read the situation through and through boggles my mind and frustrates me. I briefly consulted my roommate and she said she thought it was good for me. She said it was a very different situation where I do not hold all of the cards; and she basically encouraged me to keep in the game and try to play a good hand...

The next two weeks could prove to be life alterating in a sense that it could be the beginning of the beginning of something big. I have been applying for some good internships that could have a large impact on my resume and future opportunities. I feel a little stressed with academics and work, but simultaneously I am becoming increasingly anxious and ready for new projects. This summer will remain a time of compressing as much as I can into as much as I have. I want to make this a productive and successful summer. There is so much to do in life and so little time. It sounds stereotypical and like a cliche, but it holds still as being solid for me, I feel that I have accomplished, or rather finished a lot in my life thus far, but still realize that there is so much out there. I created a "life clock" with a chart filled with boxes and I color in each box when a month goes by. I have it hanging on my wall and I stare at every morning when I wake up and when I go to bed. There are 31 rows and 30 columns of those boxes to remind me that I only have so many tomorrows.

Gothics & Drag Queens & Freaks Oh My!

This weekend was "the best weekend" I've had all year. Friday night I got to see my bestfriend and a few other close friends from back home. It was funny reflecting the days we would skip class, run around the halls throwing toilet paper, deliver fake hall passes to get our friends out of class, etc... Ahh, adolescence... Saturday, my friend Brandon came down and we went to see Everclear and it was pretty cool. The huge blown up condoms were my personal favorite - one was so big it looked like a blimp floating in the sky. Or maybe it was the rain - and my white pants...

Afterwards, Brandon and I and a couple friends from St. Paul went to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show." I was informed that there was a certain dress code I had to abide to. I pulled out a few cardigans, sweater vests, and blazers as possible choices. But... my "conservative, republican" clothing was not appropriate I guess. Confused, I asked "What shall I wear then?" "Something...well, slutty," they told me. (I was later informed my attempt to dress slutty was a bit weak.) It was my first time and I had no idea what to expect. There were drag queens everywhere, goths, people making out, throwing shit, and this one chick was wearing a toy floaty on her head. The beginning of the show the cast starts spanking this poor guy on stage (I think he liked it though) then they pull people on stage and "sacrifice the virgins." I stood up there feeling retarded, and all of asudden they started picking random people and had them fake orgasms to win a prize. The show was freaky, but hilarious and entertaining nonetheless. The show relied heavily on audience participation - everyone was encouraged to scream "fuck you" and other vulgar expressions. It was a blast, and fun just to see Drew in black leather pants wearing my eyeliner!

Hanging with the guys on saturday was fucking hilarious...good golly, the way their minds work flabergasts me! We stayed up talking until 5 AM bullshitting, telling dead baby jokes, (horrible, I know), complaining about the opposite sex, and making fun of extreme republicans. The range of topics we covered was quite impressive... We touched on the physics of farting and the crap particles you inhale; staring at a chick's tits...then getting caught; and the ranking order of lawschools. I also enjoyed hanging out with some new people this weekend. Got to know them. Liked what I got to know. Hope to see more of them.