Disco Moon

I woke up this morning with a slight hang over- head spinning, black dots in the corner of my eyes along with a few black mascara clumps, a faint buzzing in my left ear, and a vile smell emerging from my mouth. I was very pleased indeed. You see I haven't had a stitch of alcohol or been out to a party in ages, but last night B.H., A.S. and I went out and essentially got plastered. I got to wear a bold shade of lipstick and some knee high cat-woman-esque boots. I drank and danced (sometimes in the middle of the dace floor by myself chasing the reflections of the disco ball, giving out free hugs and kisses on the cheeks, speaking 10 decibels louder than needed, and saying over and over "Oh my gosh, we should so hang out!" "Oh my gosh, we should so hang out!" Then around two AM we left the party and I let my head hang out in the toilet for awhile occasionally taking it out for air while vowing "Never again!" (Sigh) Yes, yes, it was all very grand... The whole day was great actually, I slept in, worked out, went to the beach with B.H., and then went out to eat at Chino Latino. I clearly remember sitting at a small table outside watching people pass and sipping my lemon water saying out loud: "It's moments like these that make me so thankful to be alive." Then I giggled and made fun of myself for sounding corny and took a bite of a chicken leg.

I signed a lease for a new condo in Saint Paul's historic neighborhood. I am so excited! I have been looking for about six months and right when I saw this place I knew I had to have it. I saw myself on the three-season porch painting. I saw myself burning a pizza in the oven in the kitchen. I pictured myself applying mascara with a hand mirror sitting on the edge of the bathtub. The best part is I get to bring my four boys with to live with me (A.S., Oliver, Otis, and Oscar.) We have been collecting antiques from garage sales and Craigslist and fixing them up. Every week it's like we have a new project because one of us found some free french doors or a wooden table on the side of the road aside a dumpster. Even small bursts of creativity or art electrifies me and makes me a whole new person from whomever I was the moment preceding.

I woke up from a nap and took a walk outside barefoot. I took small, careful and yet firm steps- careful as to also be aware of the small pebbles and dirt on the ground, and firm with platform flat feet as to acknowledge the direction of my steps. The dim light of a sun having stayed up past its bed time and a still evident stream of folk shuffle made me gain a sense of being alive and like I am really here on earth. And now a new moon resides telling me a new day will soon ensue and for the time being to dance in the realm of dreams.